IG-88

BORED.

I haven't done one of these in a while. So here you go. He's a robut bounty hunter from the far reaches of space. He resides in an imaginary galaxy inhabited by toys created by a man with about as much talent as a peanut.
I was going for a real hand drawn, simple, almost abstract look with this Star Warsy character. He's kinda neat I guess.

.....I'm gonna go watch "The Empire Strikes Back" now and remember why I loved my childhood and hate my adult life.

The. End.

Another stupid transformer

Not sure what to say about this. It's a space...plane...thing. His name is Gunrunner. He's a good guy ship. I took the idea of a high tech robut plane, and decided to give it a different, more abstact look. He's kind of covered in old fashioned materials and jewels. He's strictly in profile view. I dig the white line around him and I'm kind of digging the wierd simplified background. It looks kind of artsy fartsy...though I have absolutely nothing artsy fartsy to say about it. No, I'm not making a statement about technology vs. not-technology. No, I'm not commenting on consumerism vs. fashion. No, I'm not commenting on outer space vs. toys. I just wanted to make something silly and perty. There. Now go back to your porn sites.

Game Review 2

Time for another fun filled game review! This time we go over a crap classic... 18 Wheeler American Pro Trucker for the Sega Dreamcast! This game is based on a trucker's life of driving from truck stop to truck stop...and it's just as exciting as it sounds.

Ah, truckers. The backbone of America. Our favorite, reliable, dirty, foulmouthed, road soldiers. The one's we count on to get all of our necessary and less than necessary crap. They should be revered as heroes. We should pray for them before we go to bed. We should hold parades for them. But we shouldn't be making video games based on them.

18 Wheeler: American Pro Trucker is a craptastic game. It's boring as all get out, and makes you wonder what would compel a human being to even fathom the idea of making a game about "driving truck".

I mean, you drive around on a freeway, trying to beat your competitor to the destination point. You run into cars, killing innocent civilians to gain time so you can get through the level before the time runs out. And even though running into minivans and destroying family vacations sounds like fun....it really isn't. At least not in video game form.

You have a boss who talks to you over the CB saying things like "be careful not to have an accident". Reminds me of something my mom would say. Then your competitor talks to you over the CB saying things like "I'm the best trucker in the U.S.A.!!! AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!!!!" Reminds me of something my dad would say. So you feel like a child driving a 2 ton killing machine while your parents are fighting on the phone.

So yeah, that's about all there is to it really. It's pretty damn shallow. Though I guess I should point out that while the levels aren't exactly exciting, graphically they look pretty good. Especially back when this game was created. And you really get the feeling that you are driving down an actual highway most of the time.

But that's not enough to fool you into enjoying this game...though maybe I'm being too hard. Maybe being a trucker really is a miserable existence that makes you regret getting up in the morning. If that's the case, then the developers of this game created an absolutely flawless simulation.

Movie Teaser!

I like to sometimes give myself retarded and fairly uninteresting challenges to perform. Like once I tried to see how long I could miss work without calling in before I was fired. 5 days! This time I tried something a little less consequential. I picked a random superhero, and decided to make a teaser movie poster for that hero. In the grab bag of super heroes, I ended up picking this guy: Captain McDouchebag.

Actually, his name is Banshee. He's Irish. He's with the X-Men. I think he's actually dead now...I'm sure from alcohol poisoning.  So, with movie posters that are just teasers, it's usually a good idea to make some kind of image referencing the idea, but not directly giving it away. Plus, the date of release is usually a good move. So with this design, I tried to capture his costume and his powers. His costume is yellow, green and black (though I wish he had a derby and a four leaf clover sticking out of it). His powers are being able to scream obnoxiously to kill opponents. So I mixed the idea of visualizing soundwaves with the colors of his costume. It's fairly abstract and maybe a little TOO vague. Meh. I'm not sure. Anyway...that's what I was going for. I don't know if it works, but it's kind of an interesting graphic.

sigh...I'm bored with it already...time for a new challenge. Let's see how long I can sing the guitar riff from "Sweet Home Alabama" to my wife before she gets so annoyed that she curses at me. I'm guessing 32 seconds. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Package Design!

 

So....

I'm a graphic designer. And when graphic designers get bored, graphic designers make package design. So here is something I designed for a Transformers toy. For those of you that don't know...this is called a mockup. It's all done in 2D and is just done to suggest what an actual package design could look like. So this Transformer's name is Vanquish apparently, and he is a bad toy what attacks good toys...much like how Michael Bay is a bad director who attacks innocence and taste. I wanted to go for a more adult and elegant design than what you usually see for these kinds of things. I was going for something that looks like it could be expensive and there could be something cool inside. For most design, minimal = expensive. And that's what I was trying to achieve. Yes it's a little geeky. So what. Fuck you.

Game Review!

Fine. I'll add more stuff. So since I work in the stupid vidja game industry, I guess periodically I'll add reviews of games I've played. Here's my review of Airwolf (pronounced "airwoof"). Remember that show? It was about a super cool helicopter. I think it was on CBS and then moved to the USA network, where all taste goes to die.

Airwolf is based on the horrible television series which aired during the 80's. Most of you kids won't remember it. And in that, your generation is blessed. In everything else your generation is cursed.
Airwolf was an arcade game and is your standard "I'm a flying vehicle moving to the right, and I need to shoot everything in my path" side scroller. And it's hard.
Really hard.
You get hit once and you're dead. This means you need to have skill to play this game. Of which I have none. But it's still fun to play. Maybe it's just nostalgia talking, but I found the game to be a low tech blast. You shoot anything that moves. And it's amazing how your ammo can take out anything. And I mean anything. People. Tents. Trucks. Tanks. Helicopters. Planes. Battleships. Even big fat nuclear missles.
So play the game if you want a quick, non-committal shoot em up romp.
If you don't want a quick non-committal shoot em up romp, play something else.

First Post!!

Sigh....alright. You win intertubes. Forever I've been ducking and dodging the idea of putting up a blog. And now, thanks to boredom, peer pressure, and no small dose of self-loathing, I'm putting one up. Lucky you.

This is my first post. It's a drawing. It's a drawing of my least favorite Street Fighter Character: Zangief. I don't get him. Is he part bear? Why does he have hair-shins? People automatically think I would love him because he's a big fat hairy pinko commie athiest...but I don't. I don't care for Zangief. His moves sucked. His motives sucked. Screw Zangief.

About the drawring:
I'm playing around with a lot of distorted proportions lately. I like that he looks like a big Russian pile of sparsely haired muscle. Apparently he's exclamated by my dislike of him. I threw this together last night. Unfortunately, there will be more.

...I hate this already.